Digital Transgender Archive

Interview with Tamara Urban

Tamara Urban identifies as a transsexual female and was assigned male with an intersex condition when she was born in 1953. She was 63 at the time of the interview. She grew up in Sioux Falls and Flandreau, South Dakota in the 1950s and 1960s. She lived in an apartment above her parent’s jewelry store business. Her parents were loving and caring even while they were busy with the business. She has an older brother that she’s not very close to because of their age difference. She didn’t know she was intersex until an endocrinologist gave her a pelvic exam and told her she had undergone gender assignment surgery as an infant where they sewed her vagina shut, possibly removed her ovaries, and re-routed her urethra so she could pee standing up. She was born with ambiguous genitalia with both a vagina and a small penis. Blood testing proved that she was intersex and showed that her hormones weren’t what they should be for a male. She had very vivid nightmares as a child undergoing surgery, most likely triggered by the gender assignment surgery that she underwent as an infant. She also had hypospadias where the urethra opening isn’t where it’s supposed to be for a male. The condition that her doctors believe she has is Three Beta HSD Deficiency. Unfortunately, her health insurance won’t cover the $7,000 test to prove it. At her fifth birthday party, Urban realized she wasn’t a boy since she noticed her behavior was different from the boys. She was bullied a lot in junior high and high school for being girly. She received testosterone shots around this time but was told they were allergy shots. The testosterone caused facial hair to grow but it didn’t lower her voice, and she never developed an Adam’s Apple. Urban began her transition in 2007 when she came out and started hormone therapy in 2012. She also underwent 236 hours of electrolysis to remove her facial hair. She wants gender reassignment surgery. She didn’t have the opportunity to come out as trans to her parents since both passed away before she could. A friend of hers who was a Native American trans woman was recently murdered, which was quite a shock for Urban. She’s also had trans friends and counseling clients commit or attempt suicide. She never married, and she only dated a little when she was living as a male. She hasn’t dated since transitioning. She’s never actually had consensual sex because of fear, trauma, and since she hasn’t met anyone that she really clicked with. She was molested three times as a child between the ages of 3 and 7. Urban went to college for a couple of years in Iowa studying to become a minister but didn’t finish. She was fired from her job as a cab driver for being transgender, but they told her it was for other reasons. She is now retired but is involved in transgender activism in South Dakota. She is a member of the Board of Directors of Equality South Dakota and is also the President and Founder of Trans Action South Dakota.