Digital Transgender Archive

Interview with Faye Seidler

Faye Seidler identifies as a gray ace transgender woman and was assigned male at birth. She mostly grew up in Fargo, North Dakota and in many other towns within North Dakota. She was bullied in school for being the new kid. As a result, she spent a lot of time hiding her differences from others, isolating herself and doing what she could to not draw attention to herself. She wasn’t developing friendships nor going out and discovering who she was. She became depressed. She had workaholic, distant parents who worked in factories and in construction work and left Seidler to herself. She has memories of being in her room, playing by herself, and escaping into literature and video games that she played in the 1990s. She has a sibling who babysat her, but she is 5 years older than Seidler and so they lived in different social worlds. At 11 or 12 she started exploring crossdressing to relive the gender dissonance she was experiencing. Going through puberty was confusing and alarming for her, leading her to feel depressed. Her parents divorced, and she ended up dropping out of high school because of her depression. Her parents wanted her to move out at 17 so she left and got her GED. She spoke to her parents for a few years after, but their relationship was superficial and Seidler didn’t know how to communicate with them. She’s no longer in contact with them but has her chosen family now. She also says she attempted suicide at one point and so she now is a trans mentor to others so that they don’t have to go through the experience of feeling alone and hopeless as she did. At 19, a partner of hers told her about trans identity which made sense to her. She began identifying as genderqueer and then eventually around 23 she met a trans mentor who she talked to about gender. It was difficult for her to transition, however, since she didn’t have the support. After talking to her trans friend again, she gave Seidler a number for a trans therapist. She made an appointment and began hormones soon after. Because she is from a working-class background and must raise her own funds before being reimbursed through insurance, she hasn’t had any trans related surgeries yet. She also had laser hair removal. She now has a lot of passing privilege, she explains. She’s a writer and an activist. She’s in a polyamorous relationship with two fiancés who are trans-identified. She also attended The Great Plains Affirming Campus Conference which dealt with dismantling walls and creating positive change.